In the editing trenches…
I am going to start off this blog post by saying I had already written it, but I accidentally closed the window and it didn’t save the draft. Let this be a lesson to all that you should always save your work as you go!
Recently I realised that I was changing.
In a good way? Yes, hopefully.
Spring always brings with it the notion of blooming. Leaving the awful cold and dead winter behind is my favourite time of year. I hate winter. I hate being cooped up and having no day light or warmth in my bones. I walk Juno around every day and actively seek out blossoms and magnolia’s. Surely they are the biggest sign that warmer weather is on the way. If they can bloom, then the tides must be changing, and I along with them.
But there are bigger changes afoot, which I am trying desperately to sink into without fear.
It feels annoying and boring to keep harping on about lockdown and covid, as though any mention of it should be said under the cover of darkness in hushed tones so as not to invoke it like some awful demon waiting to be conjured by some stupid idiot with a big mouth.
Alas, I am often an idiot and I have a big mouth.
I promise you that this isn’t going to be long, so bear with me, but I only really recently realised that lockdown was actually awful. Not in the way that most people found it bad—I didn’t dislike staying inside and settling into smaller routines, but those routines became a form of survival mode. A soft, simple survival, but still… when you survive something like what we all survived (I assume you did, and you’re not the undead..?), it leaves a mark. For me, it’s a hard shell.
As I’ve grown up I have become way more independent than I ever was in my late teens or early twenties. I used to fear being alone but getting older has changed me. Covid changed me even more. I decided that I didn’t need to see or be with friends. I could wave from a window and that would be enough.
It has taken me almost a year to untangle myself from that thought and the feeling. Lockdown had me thinking the person I became from survival was my true self. No distractions, just me. But I’m not me without the world, and my friends and family. So I’m digging myself out, and this spring feels like the chance to escape the hole I fell into.
What does this have to do with editing the werewolf novel? I’m glad you asked!
Finding a small part of yourself in your main character is easy to do. I don’t think I have ever thought ‘I’m writing myself’ about any of my protagonists, but during this edit—so timely as we shift into spring—I am seeing the parallels between myself and Lucy. Oh, she’s called Lucy by the way. If you got this far, there’s your first teaser!
She is a girl who is in survival mode, but doesn’t realise it. It screws up her relationships, and is hardening her shell. She’s shifting, but not in the way she’s used to and it’s painful and awkward. I can relate. This is one of the reasons I love writing, because this book was written MANY years ago and I have edited it many times already, but this last edit is something else. I doubt I would have noticed these underlying themes had I not gone through what I’m going through and potentially what others are going through. The story is not about this in the slightest, that’s the fun thing. It’s just a byproduct of her life as it stands… sadly for her, it will become a bigger deal in the next book (already written), but for now I can say being in these editing trenches has been very eye opening and I’m super glad I get to do me, and I’m very sorry that Lucy has a while to go before she gets to taste the sweet air of spring.
Talk soon!
Sam
ps. I am still building the list for advanced reader copies of this book so if you want to sign up, feel free. I’ll be sending out more info soon!
